I have control.

It's funny how so many people tend to express themselves less as they grow older.  When you're young you are lost in a world of discovery; exploring new emotions, new ways of making things and creating beauty.  Have you ever watched a child mesmerized by the most simple thing and their interpretation of such a thing?  Can you remember being so easily inspired as a child to get out there and recreate something you saw on the television or tell a story to a friend?  Everything is a new experience so you tend to express it more and let it govern you.  And this happens again in your teens and with your first love, you friends, you discovery of self.  But somehow it reaches a point for so many where it just ceases to happen.

Why is that?

You know what is beautiful about my current mindset?  I am in complete control of this feeling.  I know who I am, I know what I feel... there is nothing new about this moment but I find myself wanting to express this feeling anyway.  The best thing about this euphoria is that it consumes my mind and body like a drug and makes me long to celebrate all that I am, all that life is and this beautiful moment in time that I am so fortunate to be given by the universe...space...time.  Euphoria doesn't have to be from something new to feel just as good as it did the first time.  I know that when it ends and I am overcome by other emotions - sadness, fear etc... I will come back to this goodness sometime and it will be worth every moment of sad.

I guess I am fortunate.  Some people go looking and they never find what they are craving.  They never quite take hold of this kind of feeling.  And its because they don't have control or its because they let other things get in the way.  When you have appreciation for life, for creativity, for the sun and the moon and the grass and the materials in which your house is made of and you see everyday; thats when you know you can always find this euphoric feeling.

We get so caught up...

Assuming.

Asking.

Demanding.

Searching.

We forget what is right in front of us, the potential of these things to make us feel perfect.  

Just stop for a second and take the time to be.....right here, right now, in this mother fucking moment!   

And when you're there just remember that no matter how low you get, you can always push yourself higher.  

No matter how bad you feel you can always remember this moment and you can always come back whenever you allow yourself to.