Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.

-Dale Turner-

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Funny people and period stains.

Laugh Out Loud. (TOO funny silly!)

I suggest that you read my previous blog before getting stuck into this one.  I discussed my favourite Jimmerish fm show, Betty and the beast, and decided to answer yahoo questions for the world to see (I usually sit on my computer like a nerd late at night and hand out stupid advice).  Whilst reading through the questions I came across some particularly funny ones and had to dedicate an entire blog to them.  I almost considered devoting an entire blog to period questions alone!  I cant get enough of them to be honest!!  Please enjoy and DO NOT TAKE ANSWERS SERIOUSLY.  I assure you that these questions are 100% real and because hardly anyone reads my stuff there is no reason for me to lie to you! 

Will my mum think i am gross for this? (women answer only please)?

Well Im on my period right now (I havent just started ive been having it for years im 14) but the blood kind of leaked through the pad over night and now my pants are stained and Im really embarassed. Should i put them in the wash basket for my mum to put in the washing machine or will she think that i am gross for it leaking through.

A: If your mum is a man then yea she will be grossed out.  Every girl will experience Dun dun DUNNNNNNNNNNNN ...period stains!  They are annoying things.  We will go to great lengths whilst on sleep overs to prevent them!  We will make up crazy stories about why we are wearing tight bike shorts to bed or have to visit the toilet  a million times because we want to check that our oversized night pads are still in position.  I myself have even worn 3 pads at once at the tender age of 14 in fear that something dramatic would happen to my bleeding uterus whilst at a sleep over party!!  In conclusion - NO.  She will not think you're weird.  When a women sees a period stain it is a special moment.  They will think back to the time when they got up from a university lecture only to realise RED on their new white skirt.  They will laugh as they think of the times they worried about walking 5 metres from their towel to the water at the beach because they were scared the tampon string was showing.  Period stains are funny.  You are my favourite funny person for the evening!  Thanks for helping me to reminisce about period stains!

When period blood dries should it go brownish?

Whenever my period blood dries on the pad it is a brownish colour, but when i first start my period its red.  Is there something wrong with my blood or is this perfectly normal?
A: Sweet child!  Blood of any kind is brown when dried!  Kill a few more people and see :O

Why do I hate fat people?

I actually can't stand fat people. I mean they are such slobs like for eg Jordin sparks , shes just fat fat fat .  I hate the way they look, the way they eat, the way they breathe (you know, that horrible wheezing, constantly exhausted breathing). I actually sometimes feel a bit sick when I see people like this. Also, I find that fat people lie more than anyone else. "I only eat one meal a day" ARE YOU EATING A TROUGH OF LARD THEN? "Oh I've got a knee injury, I can't exercise" YOU HAVE A KNEE INJURY COX THERE IS A TON OF WEIGHT ON YOUR JOINTS! Why is this? Does anyone feel the same?

A: Dear "Fat hater" - You have some SERIOUS psychological issues.  My theory is that you yourself are terrified of being fat and thus have these crazy ideas about fat people being liars.  Skinny people can also be liars can they not?  We all know that saying you always eat truck loads is probably a lie when you weigh 10 kilos.  Dont go hating.  Im really amused at your post so thanks for making me lol and for being part of my funny people blog :O 

Trying to lose wight but always feel hungry is it ok to snacke on fruits and veggies?

i trained myself not to b hungry all the time and i lost 20 lbs a couple days off track now im back to the way i was and its much harder now to get back on would it b ok to snacke on fruits and veggies when i feel the need to eat?
A: I hate to say it but have you been living under a rock?  I think every single weight loss magazine, TV show and book tells you to snack on fruit and veggies.  Im also annoyed that you misspelt "snack". Thanks.

I want to OVERDOSE? I'm 13 years old.. I'm a girl.. planning on overdosing soon?

I want to overdose? what if I don't WANT to stop self harming?
I was just wondering..

A: I'd hate to make you more depressed but you're not being very discrete about stuff.  Especially because theres a first and last name attached to your post.  You should get help ASAP woman for either depression or attention seeking!!!!!

Why do some guys wear athletic cups in sports but girls do not?

I am just wondering why some guys wear jocks and athletic cups when playing contact sports but girls do not. My boyfriend plays football, hockey, and baseball and he wears one. I’ve asked him why some guys do and he will not tell me!!! Do they even make ones for girls?
A: I dont know about you but I dont have "dangly" bits to worry about.  I assume that you are the same?  Common sense could be the answer here....or sex ed? Guys have balls=babies.  Damage to balls=no babies.  Our baby storage compartments..aka ovaries.. are deep inside and out of harms way.  Yes there is a high nerve concentration externally for us but nothing that really sticks out if you catch my drift.

I have a urine test i smokd bout 1-2 joints a day 4 the past 8 months;will i b ok?

A: No! There will still be BULK THC in your system!

What is douching ? plz help?

A: Google it and then start bringing it back into fashion! Bahahahaha!  May I also suggest "lavendar douching".

How much pubes should you have at 15?

I only ask because I grew a little around 11 and I haven't grown any more since, and I have a friend whose pubes almost reach his navel.
A: Dear 15 year old.  Fear not.  If you are a woman - consider yourself lucky if you havnt developed much of a rug yet.  If you are a male then also consider yourself lucky.  Your junk shall appear bigger amongst less hair right?
Does having your period make you lose weight?
 A: I wish.

What size condom would i wear?

if i am around 8.5 inchs? normal will be ok? i would want to know before i buy them and they not fit
A: Lets rethink the 8.5 inches thing.  Either you are clueless and have crazy genitals or you are just waiting for someone to comment on your size.

Help with guy problem. don't read girls?

Is it normal for your pubic hair to be longer than your penis?
A: I really really really really want to hug you right now.



Anonymous said...

Period Stains??? Banish them now. When in Period use Period Panties..Adira Period Panties

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I got them adira period panties too. I really like the lil contraption they have to fix the pad. Pad stayed in place all day without bunchin up my a**

Anonymous said...

Thiis is hilarious. Thank you for posting ^_^

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