Grief.

They say that there are these 'stages' of grief.  

I feel like I've lived through them over and over... 

I lose out, I find peace, I keep going.

And the hardest things about an end to things are the way things sway.

They may start off good or bad or somewhere in between...

But no matter where they start they always shift.

Shit in the long term is not hard to deal with when you put your mind to it,

Yet in the short, its hard when someone you care about feels the need to inflict hurt on you.

Why do these things happen?  I will never know.

But if the cycle is not broken, this will never get better.

Here's to the future - may it be brighter and clearer than the now.

Build something beautiful...

"Do not think of today's failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost..." Helen Keller

Nutrition PREVENTION?

I am currently in the library at uni but have far too many issues running through my head - gahh.... why am I so passionate about all this health stuff.  I will not complete this blog until later tonight.. for anyone who may possibly be reading.

Nutritional potential of food products

It honestly feels like companies, food scientists and advertising is seriously diminishing our opportunity of gaining the most out of our foods.  Shelf life concerns cause multiple preservatives to be added to shit, colourings and additives increase consumer appeal, just chemical techniques in food science are especially damaging to products but its all about the money....

I guess this is harsh reality.  I know this.  It doesn't mean that I'm not going to raise awareness though.  Ignorance is such an unfortunate fact of living and breathing in this world.  We obviously can't know everything so that is why we need to help eliminate detrimental ignorance one piece of personally insignificant information at a a time...

New study set up...

Motivation?

Sexology #1

I was conned into doing this third year promotional unit and as much as I can't stand health promotion I am adoring the tutor and the discussions we have in class.  Sexology is the unit by the way.  It's amazing how endless sexual health is as a topic - so many branches, so many issues, so many interesting and wonderful things.  We are sexual beings.  Although sexual acts aren't necessarily vital for existence we are driven by our sexuality, our desires, instincts, attitudes, identities, pleasure sensors, curiosity, lust and intimacy.  Sexology is such a taboo topic for a lot of people but sexuality is sacred, sex is something that is so healthy for us as humans if done in the right way.

Things I learnt in sexology today:
1.  That men have more sensitive nipples than females

2.  The number one "must do" for good sex is good lubricant containing silicone.

3.  The more aroused you are as a female, the more loose your vagina will be before
intercourse.... although this is logical and quite obvious, it occured to me in class that some men think tight vagina means that you are sexually aroused...hmm.

4.  A new product has been released in the US/UK that is a ball of lubricant which is inserted into the vagina and slowly releases and lubricates it over two days.

5.  Females who smoke marijuana during week 6-7 of pregnancy are those most likely to produce children with 'ambiguous genetalia' because of the solubility of weed and sexual differentiation occuring in the foetus at that time.

6.  Worldwide, 1 in 1200 people have 'ambiguous genetalia'.


One "controversial" issue came up today - sexual education for children.  How young is too young?  My tutor educates children who are 11 about the words 'cunt' etc.

I ACTUALLY HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT THIS BUT NEED TO GO STUDY SOOOO
**** TO BE CONTINUED...
And as much as I hate popular radio music:
(OFF TOPIC BUT) Oh my god... on the radio on the way home I heard the lyrics 'Me like it when you...' and 'I ain't never gonna let ya steal him from me'......wtf?

We got the afternoon
You got this room for two
One thing I've left to do
Discover me
Discovering you

One mile to every inch of
Your skin like porcelain
One pair of candy lips and
Your bubblegum tongue

And if you want love
We'll make it
Swim in a deep sea
Of blankets
Take all your big plans
And break 'em
This is bound to be awhile

Your body is a wonderland
Your body is a wonder (I'll use my hands)
Your body is a wonderland

Something 'bout the way the hair falls in your face
I love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillowcase
You tell me where to go and
Though I might leave to find it
I'll never let your head hit the bed
Without my hand behind it

You want love?
We'll make it
Swim in a deep sea
Of blankets
Take all your big plans
And break 'em
This is bound to be awhile

Making it better.

How very unexpected life can be.
Things that never seem like possibilities become them...
People you never hear from or even see can impact your life...
But the thing I am pondering most now is me.
I know where I am, and where I want to be.
Now its a matter of eliminating the bad and replacing with good.
But in a way I'm a little scared about this.
Did I blow it somehow already?

First impressions usually last right, although they might be jaded?
And although it seems insignificant amongst everything, 

I hope I didn't throw away this chance before it had time to happen...

To do NOW

I found this and thought it was really cute.  Although obscure it puts into perspective the crazy yet worthwhile SIMPLE things we can do in life.......... when we get bored.

 

***

Puzzle pieces

If you fit together enough pieces of a puzzle,
the picture becomes clearer :/

***More 'feel-goods'

Another lot of my lame 'feel goods'...

Once.

For those that have read a lot of my previous blogs it will be evident to you that this thought crosses my mind quite frequently.  The more I experience life, taste new things, see new places, feel new emotions; the more I ponder this saying.  Life is short but life is long - its a complete contradiction in itself.  Our days are numbered but in the same regard, there are a lot of them to live if you waste your time doing nothing.  And you know what - nothing is actually ever permanent.  Life passes by, things come and things go and you can change the direction; your path, like the rudder of a boat, whenever you choose.

I suppose what I am saying is that new possibilities are always in reach, as long as you have the willpower or the freedom at heart to either stive for them or alternatively, allow yourself to fall into them.  There are days where you will master this and everything will be at balance, just as there will be days where you'll risk everything, maybe fuck shit up and then get back on that horse.  Nothing is permanent, not even entire cities, species of animals or civilisations.  Everything comes and goes with time.  I guess that's why you must make choices while you are young enough to embrace all that life offers.

I am becoming aware that this blog seems like ludicrous ranting and yes, it is to some degree.  But the thing I enjoy most about my blogs is when I look back at each one I remember exactly what was happening in my life at the time and all the things I was thinking as I typed.  This particular one is of significance as my mind is searching for ways to let go of being tied down and suppressed.  It has just occured to me that I can easily keep myself afloat, but I am too young to take responsibility in doing this for others - especially when it consumes all my time and energy.  It is hard when you have your eye on something and someone constantly tells you that you'll only forever be able to dream it.  It is now that I have ultimate control, my path can change as I choose and I am quite content with knowing that this moment will be different from the next and many others I will experience in my short little lifetime....

Liver psoriasis and redbull

I don't believe much of what I hear in the media - in particular facts and figures from television programs like today tonight.  However I heard something today that I had never really thought too hard about - the possibility of redbull causing psoriasis of the liver.  Perhaps it is obscure to think that a beverage so easily purchasable by anyone could be seriously damaging but upon assessing further information I am intrigued to find out the details.

I have previously read other articles about the negative effects of redbull.  There have been people who have died after drinking more than three cans of redbull in combination with strenuous exercise, although in stating 'people' I have read of too.  Also, I read an article of a man who had extreme bacterial growth around his liver due to drinking copious amounts of redbull.  I am obviously not an idiot and definitely do not believe that energy drinks are healthy in any way but as for such serious issues as this, are there facts and figures that can correctly diagnose redbull as the problem?

I am going to do my best to research this but if anyone knows anything credible please let me know :)

New semester: what to remember

Some awesome tips for semester 2....

Motivation

The pill

So for 50 years women have had the joy of oral contraception, regulated hormones and menstrual cycles but I've come to become skeptical of "the pill".

So my nutrition studies strike again!  At uni we looked at how the pill reduces vitamin B absorption which is essential for the production of brain chemicals such as neurotransmitters.  It's fucked that they don't tell you this when you're prescribed it.  Do doctors even really know?  As well as this, muscle tone/density is significantly reduced in women on the pill and moods are far more regulated in those whom are not.

I decided to stop taking the pill, purely for personal interest's sake.  For three months I was off it and I had never felt better.  My body started toning up so much more than usual, even with the same amount or less exercise.  I was happy all the time, my moods were regulated and I seriously felt like I came out of a crazy coma.  For those of you who don't know I was on the pill for 7 years and had never experienced time without it over that time.  I highly recommend the experience to anyone who is skeptical.


So here's the other side of the story - care must be taken when coming off the pill.  Obviously sexual care and monitoring of periods etc. are important.  Sadly I am now back on the pill for some personal reasons but as soon as possible I will come straight back off for good.  Yeah its nice not using condoms and such but nothing is worth the control.

Big decision

Everything happens for a reason.

I made a choice that now makes all other
 choices ever made seem all the more easy.
*
I consider myself lucky to have had the privilege to make
that choice to the best of my ability...
*
And I pray and I hope that all my thoughts and
feelings remain sound and confident from this point.

Its funny how almost anything can happen in the blink of an eye.  Some things slide past easily, others draw attention to problems or faults or values in our lives and some change us completely; forever.  From this moment I will take every single day as a blessing.

I will make wiser decisions about the people I share my life with.I will keep my future dreams always close to my heart and soul.I will work the hardest I can to pursue all that is good in my life.Life is beautiful - so fucking beautiful...And what I have done has not made me a bad person.It has simply tested me for all that I am,And strengthened me in all that I hope to be.

14-07-11

This moment.
Absolute shock.
Life throws the unexpected.
But every cloud has a silver lining.

Holidays