Today is Thursday

So I started this sober but have ended up drunk. I'm not sure if its due to all the wine i've been consuming over the last few years or the beauty of this journey I have experienced.  I will go with the latter as being drunk from years of drinking holds no logic :P ... but I can't describe this indistinguishable feeling.

I'm not sure whether when faced with the choice, some of us can push past things with a strength we never knew we had. It makes no sense to say this - any of this.  The more I have lived, the higher I have aimed and to be honest it feels like I haven't got very far. Failure, guilt, lack of priorities... it has all come down to me though.  I guess the less control you experience from time to time, the more you feel you have when suddenly you take hold of it.

I wish I had a camera and a notebook, constantly with me.  It seems like so many thoughts fill my head and I lose them as fast as they make their way in there in the first place.  Perhaps they are trying to make room for the new ones and my brain briefly ponders, finds a meaning or resolution and lets them go.  Perhaps I'd go insane if it didn't?  The longer I live, the more I know... and the more I know, the more I want to know.... and the more I want to know the more I know I will never know as much as I want to... for there is far too much to know and each human being only lives long enough to know a minuscule proportion of information, despite the longing...