Some people :)

Eeep day :)

I love those days where things are productive.
Where you appreciate the little things that make the day brighter.
And where you realise that there is so much to look forward to in this stupid little life...

Uni Venting - Not a good feel good read I assure you.

Uni has been bothering me lately, but in a long term, career aspirations sort of way...

So here's my study journey...

Its daunting when you started something at uni that really wasn't your thing and it happens to the best of us I guess.  In 2009 I realised that journalism wasn't for me and in Semester Two I did bridging units for nutrition.  For semester one I could only do 3 out of 4 units as one wasn't offered, then I failed my first semester chemistry exam and my life was basically over for a few hours until I managed to deal with it.  Sadly, the same unit wouldn't be offered until the following year and I'd have to repeat in 2011, unless I did a similar unit from the biomedical science course and soldiered on through biochemistry.  Luckily, biochemistry was a lovely change and I accustomed quickly.  I found a way to structure all units to meet every prerequisite required and life became sweet again...

So now I've started some third year units but I have missed two core second years that i'll be needing as they were only offered in certain semesters and the bridging units limited me in my first semester unit selection as my entire course was based on chemistry prerequisites.  I know this is the direction I am meant to be going in but I see everyone slowly graduating and I sit and wonder when the fuck it will be me.  When will I finally have what I wanted?  After trying this hard, it must be in reach? ... but it seems so far away and I'll need to keep soldiering on. 


The primary problem I have had lately is what will I do when I'm finished this course?  It seems apparent that I will need to stay until the end of 2012 to finish my Nutrition degree but then what?  I'm writing this blog as a means of justification, as a way of working things out.  I sit here and question my capabilities.  I sit here and I think of how many people have actually wanted something as much as I want this.  But alas, there is a silver lining to all this worry and it has just come to me - emails from oh mighty course coordinators and Curtin and ECU.  Now I hate to seem pretentious but ECU has never really been a model university for me as a hopeful future health care professional.  In fact, I have steered away.  However I've just received a nice neat package for the course information for Masters in dietetics. GREAT success.  The course is far more recognised than expected, it offers almost an entire year of prac and it gives you a life membership with the DAA (Dietetics Association of Australia) AND allows you the accreditation required for own clinical practice.  This is everything I wanted to hear.  Of course I will investigate my options but this is good news... HOWEVER, good always comes at a price.  The course only starts mid year and i'll miss next years cut off.... Fuck. My. Life.
What to do....
I have wanted this far far too much.
I think its time to remind myself of that.
I have come so far but it really doesn't feel like it..
But I'm through the hard part, I'm over half way and I know I am capable.
I guess I'll have to suck it up and realise that I'm going to be at uni for quite a while..
And I guess in order to be fulfilled in life, I'm going to have to be ok with that.

Sunshine

No matter the weather, always bring your sunshine...

Today is Thursday

So I started this sober but have ended up drunk. I'm not sure if its due to all the wine i've been consuming over the last few years or the beauty of this journey I have experienced.  I will go with the latter as being drunk from years of drinking holds no logic :P ... but I can't describe this indistinguishable feeling.

I'm not sure whether when faced with the choice, some of us can push past things with a strength we never knew we had. It makes no sense to say this - any of this.  The more I have lived, the higher I have aimed and to be honest it feels like I haven't got very far. Failure, guilt, lack of priorities... it has all come down to me though.  I guess the less control you experience from time to time, the more you feel you have when suddenly you take hold of it.

I wish I had a camera and a notebook, constantly with me.  It seems like so many thoughts fill my head and I lose them as fast as they make their way in there in the first place.  Perhaps they are trying to make room for the new ones and my brain briefly ponders, finds a meaning or resolution and lets them go.  Perhaps I'd go insane if it didn't?  The longer I live, the more I know... and the more I know, the more I want to know.... and the more I want to know the more I know I will never know as much as I want to... for there is far too much to know and each human being only lives long enough to know a minuscule proportion of information, despite the longing... 

Wednesday 15th September

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. 

~Oscar Wilde

RE: religion

RE: Food cents

I feel the least inspired by uni that I have ever felt and it saddens me.  I can't wait until the holidays to get through my massive stack of books to reignite me but I suppose there have been some things I'm yet to write about:

I have a lot of awesome shopping tips for healthy budgetting and upon request I will tailor some to vegetarians and Low GI diets as promised before.

Blog on iron also coming :)

First world problems

How infatuated we are with our lives that are so insignificant in the scope of the universe.
And who can blame us really - we are consciously or subconsciously government by context, by all these social and cultural 'norms' that exist around us.  A characteristic of human beings is that we can easily adapt, but this is generally in response to a change in physical environmental state - changes in weather, people etc.  How easily we can break like glass when placed in new extreme and contrasting contexts, unlike those we are so comfortably adapted to.  It is worrying really, the mentality of our first world minds with our first world problems and how breakable we would be if faced with something so unthinkable.  But we are what we are and we are like this because we are here, in this place, in this time.

Its funny really, despite how dramatically I can sometimes react to first world problems it always brings a smile to my face when I know I can appreciate little things to a strong degree; when I feel like something so small has really impacted me.  Right now I feel simply blissful.  And it feels like such a big deal.  It feels like just when you begin to adapt to something, to really truly live your life with and around something; new variables come in to play...

Now you may not really know it yet but this is so platonic for me.  

You text me just to say good night and good morning...
You brush my hair out of my face when it gets in my eyes...

You smile at me with this extreme content that ricochets through me...
Now... you may not know it but, you have been the best adaption so far.
And this appreciation for little things is so fulfilling because..

Well, I guess they don't really seem like little things to me.
And that's the best part.

RE: Rage

This is for your rage...

See we got together so young,
before our real lives had begun,
but flowers don't grow up as one,
each finds its own way to the sun,
and that's exactly what we've done.

We've grown up separately too,

And for a few years now it's been the problem,
and these realisations...i wish that i could stop them,
but I've realised that love is all we have in common,
and deep down you know that's true.

Time to bloom.

It's time to bloom... ^_^