Letter One

Letter One.

Inspired by the 30 day Letter Challenge…

So a friend of mine is doing a 30 day letter challenge, I’ve selected a few myself but I have no patience for enduring 30 days of letter writing.

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

To the last person I pinky promised,If only I could remember exactly what that promise I made was.
I suppose that promise hasn’t been the only thing I have forgotten about you.
Sometimes when I close my eyes I can still live in the past and imagine your bedroom around me - those sharp shapes that blend into the darkness… the book shelf… the open window that blew cool crisp air into my face and stopped me from suffocating sometimes.

However…I have forgotten the smell of it all.  I have forgotten how it made me feel.I have forgotten how much it hurt to be there sometimes, how small and empty I felt as I lay there, but how oversized I felt sometimes too.Sometimes it felt like I was a piece from your puzzle, but you were one from mine - one small piece of thousands…Funnily enough, I have not forgotten the hardness of the springs from that old bed that used to protrude into my back... the sound of snoring when the night was still or the dimness of the white light that would shine through the shades from outside. I have not forgotten the times I spent laughing there until it hurt…drawing…talking…watching you.But I have not forgotten the times I lay awake and cried after hearing out your lies...and during those times, I wondered how I came to ever be there in the first place.

 Our story is a sad one - the kind you later on refer to as that 'silly time' in your life.  Although it feels like that time was a lifetime...and that in a way, it was absurd...but not that silly.  I'm glad you’re gone and that you’re never coming back.  I am glad that you’re just the smallest piece… but I guess you’re still an edge so I need those memories to be complete.
It doesn’t mean I need the whole picture though.
Thank fuck.

-Me